Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
