Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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