Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
