Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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