how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
