Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
