Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me

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(216): View more from Ohio

For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;

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(914): View more from New York

I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.

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19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Read it at the TFLN blog
(778): View more from British Columbia

I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.

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(904): View more from Florida

so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."

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(503): View more from Oregon

Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.

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(585): View more from New York

He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out

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