So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
And then he peed in my hair
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