drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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