man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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