Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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