This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
