my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I yelled at your uterus for you.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
