I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
