Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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