If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
