the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.