In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize