We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
