If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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