at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
