how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.