I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize