JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
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He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
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He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.