Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize