Please, let me fuck your mom
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
