He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
