i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
