Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
