I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
