I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.