Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
