thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just had sex on a roof
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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