Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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