I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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