Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
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