I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
