My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
as a side note pls kill me
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize