You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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