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Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
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