i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"