I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless