I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?