You really coming over, don't trick.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
