hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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