How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
