oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
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I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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