I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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