Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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