are you still at the devil's house?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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