halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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