Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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