Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize