my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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