so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
