I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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