Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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